Why Boredom Might Be Exactly What Children Need

Evelise Manzoni
Jun 7
7 min read

For many parents, these two small words can create a surprising sense of pressure.

We feel the urge to fix it.

To offer ideas.

To create an activity.

To make the feeling disappear.

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the message that good parenting means keeping children engaged, stimulated, and occupied.

So when boredom appears, it can feel like we’ve somehow fallen short.

But what if boredom isn’t a sign that something is wrong?

What if it is an invitation to pause?

An invitation for children to wonder, imagine, create, explore, and discover what interests them when no one else is directing the experience.

Is Boredom Bad?

Most of us have been taught to think of boredom as something negative.

Something uncomfortable.

Something to avoid.

Yet boredom is a normal human experience.

In fact, researchers have increasingly begun to recognise that periods of unstructured time can support important aspects of development, including:

creativity
problem-solving
independent thinking
persistence
self-direction
flexibility

When children are not constantly entertained, instructed, or scheduled, they begin practising an important life skill: figuring out what to do next.

This may seem simple, but it is actually a complex developmental task involving decision-making, planning, creativity, and confidence.

What Happens in the Brain During Boredom?

When children step away from structured activities, their brains do not simply switch off.

Research suggests that a network known as the Default Mode Network (DMN) becomes more active during periods of rest, reflection, daydreaming, imagination, and free thinking.

The DMN is associated with:

creativity
memory processing
self-reflection
imagining future possibilities
storytelling
making connections between ideas

In other words, when children appear to be doing “nothing,” their brains may actually be busy making sense of experiences, organising information, and generating new ideas.

This is one reason why creativity often emerges after periods of boredom rather than during highly structured activities.

When children are constantly directed from one activity to the next, there is less opportunity for the brain to wander, wonder, and create its own connections.

The brain often does some of its most important work when it appears to be doing very little.

This may help explain why children (and adults) sometimes come up with their best ideas after periods of rest, daydreaming, or even after “sleeping on it.”

Of course, boredom does not automatically lead to creativity every time. Sometimes children will complain, wander aimlessly, or seek reassurance before moving into play.

However, allowing space for these quieter moments gives the brain an opportunity to practise something increasingly rare in our busy world: slowing down long enough for imagination and new ideas to emerge.

Why Boredom Feels So Uncomfortable

Boredom creates a pause.

A space between one activity and the next where nothing has been decided yet.

Children are still learning how to tolerate that uncertainty.

Some children quickly move into play, while others may complain, seek reassurance, or repeatedly ask adults for ideas.

This does not mean boredom is harmful.

Like frustration tolerance, the ability to move through boredom develops with practice.

Why Adults Often Struggle More With Boredom Than Children

Sometimes the discomfort belongs to us more than it belongs to them.

Modern parenting can create enormous pressure to constantly:

enrich
entertain
educate
stimulate

Many parents worry that if their child is bored, they are somehow failing.

We see endless lists of activities, sensory experiences, educational opportunities, and enrichment programs.

It can begin to feel as though every moment needs a purpose.

But children do not need every moment planned.

In fact, some of the most valuable developmental experiences happen when there is no adult agenda.

Children discover their own ideas when there is space for those ideas to emerge.

When “I’m Bored” Really Means Something Else

Sometimes boredom is not actually boredom.

Sometimes it means:

“I want connection.”

“I don’t know what to do next.”

“I need help getting started.”

“I’m feeling restless.”

“I need movement.”

“I’m overwhelmed by too many choices.”

Before immediately offering solutions, it can help to become curious.

You might say:

“Hmm, I wonder what your brain will come up with.”

Or:

“Let’s see what ideas appear.”

Or simply:

“It can feel uncomfortable when we don’t know what to do next.”

These responses acknowledge the experience without rushing to remove it.

Boredom and Screens

In today’s world, boredom often competes with something previous generations did not have access to:

Instant entertainment.

Screens are designed to provide immediate stimulation, novelty, and rewards.

Because of this, children may naturally choose a screen over the discomfort of boredom.

This doesn’t mean screens are harmful or that they have no place in family life.

However, when every moment of boredom is quickly replaced with entertainment, children have fewer opportunities to practise:

independent thinking
creativity
problem-solving
self-directed play
tolerating discomfort

Sometimes the most creative ideas emerge after children move through the initial discomfort of not knowing what to do.

Rather than asking whether boredom should always be eliminated, it can be helpful to ask:

“What might emerge if we give this moment a little more time?”

The Connection Between Boredom and Play

From a play therapy perspective, boredom is often the doorway to play.

When adults stop directing and children begin leading, something interesting can happen.

A cardboard box becomes a spaceship.

A blanket becomes a cave.

A stick becomes a magic wand.

Children begin experimenting, creating, exploring, and making meaning through play.

Many of the themes children explore in therapy emerge not because they were instructed to play, but because they were given space to discover their own ideas.

As play therapy pioneer Virginia Axline reminded us, children naturally move toward growth when provided with freedom, acceptance, and opportunity for expression.

What If My Child Just Follows Me Around Complaining?

Many parents are reading this and thinking:

“That’s lovely, but my child doesn’t suddenly become creative.”

And that’s okay.

Some children need support before they can move into independent play.

You might notice that before your child can engage independently, they need:

connection
movement
regulation
reassurance
help getting started

This is especially common for younger children and children experiencing stress, anxiety, transitions, or emotional overwhelm.

Children often need their emotional and physical needs met before they can access creativity, problem-solving, and independent play. A child who is tired, dysregulated, disconnected, or overwhelmed may need support first before they are ready to move into their own ideas.

Sometimes a brief moment of connection can help.

For example:

“Let’s sit together for five minutes and see what ideas come.”

Or:

“Would you like me to help you start, or would you like to think of something yourself?”

The goal is not to abandon children to boredom.

The goal is to support them without taking over.

What Parents Can Do

When your child says:

“I’m bored!”

Try resisting the urge to immediately solve the problem.

Instead:

Pause

Stay curious

Allow some unstructured time

Offer open-ended materials

Encourage imagination

Trust your child’s creativity

Examples of open-ended materials include:

blocks
cardboard boxes
cushions
dress-ups
dolls
loose parts
art materials
nature items

These materials invite creativity because there is no single “right” way to use them.

Create an “I’m Bored” List Together

For some children, having ideas and getting started are two different things.

A helpful strategy can be creating an “I’m Bored” list together during a calm moment, rather than when boredom has already arrived.

Older children might write their own list.

Younger children can draw pictures instead.

The important part is that the ideas come from the child.

As adults, it can be tempting to fill the page with suggestions, but a list created by a parent is not quite the same as a list created by a child.

When children generate their own ideas, they are practising creativity, decision-making, and independent thinking. They are learning to trust their own interests rather than relying on someone else to provide the next activity.

You might ask:

“What are some things you enjoy doing when you have free time?”

Or:

“What are some things you’ve enjoyed doing before when you didn’t know what to do?”

The list might include:

building
drawing
making cubbies
reading
creating obstacle courses
dancing
dress-ups
inventing games

When boredom appears, children can revisit their own list for inspiration.

The goal isn’t to eliminate boredom.

The goal is to help children discover that they already have ideas within them.

When Boredom Becomes a Learning Opportunity

Boredom teaches children that uncomfortable feelings can be tolerated.

It teaches:

patience
flexibility
persistence
problem-solving
independence

Most importantly, it teaches children that they are capable of generating their own ideas.

This confidence often extends far beyond play.

A Gentle Reminder

Children do not need every moment filled.

They do not need constant stimulation.

And they do not need adults to solve every experience of boredom.

Sometimes boredom is not a sign that something is missing.

Sometimes it is the space where imagination, creativity, and independence begin.

The next time you hear:

“I’m boooored!”

You might pause before offering a solution.

Because what looks like “nothing” may actually be the beginning of something important.

How Play Therapy Can Help

Some children find unstructured time difficult, particularly if they struggle with anxiety, regulation, flexibility, confidence, or emotional wellbeing.

Play therapy provides a safe space where children can explore, create, imagine, problem-solve, and express themselves through play.

As children experience the freedom to lead, create, and discover within a supportive relationship, they often develop greater confidence in their own ideas, abilities, and emotional world.

How Can I Help?

If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional wellbeing, confidence in play, or ability to engage independently, play therapy can provide a safe and supportive space for growth, expression, and connection.

Books to Read With Children

• Not a Box — Antoinette Portis

• What Do You Do With an Idea? — Kobi Yamada

• The Most Magnificent Thing — Ashley Spires

For Parents

• Balanced and Barefoot — Angela J. Hanscom

• The Importance of Being Little — Erika Christakis

• The Whole-Brain Child — Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

• Simplicity Parenting — Kim John Payne

References

Axline, V. M. (1947). Play Therapy.

Christakis, E. (2016). The Importance of Being Little.